Saturday September 16th 2023

My therapist suggested I start a diary and write my thoughts. Try and get out all the frustration.  I was going to pick up a diary, but I remembered this app... so I'm going to start here. 

I've been in therapy for the last 2 years, after my miscarriage I felt useless. I felt as if I wasn't a good enough woman. Couldn't even stay pregnant. I wanted to give David everything he wanted, and he wanted to be a dad. 

Roughly 4 months later I got pregnant again, and had a very healthy baby girl. I had achieved what I wanted. Making David a father.... 

But why do I still feel that I'm not good enough. The extra stretch marks scare me. The extra weight gain on my face..... I just feel like why. Why be with me. Why. 

Then I need to remind myself that I have generalized aniexty disorder..... and this is a part of it. That it's just my PTSD and trauma scaring me. 

I just wish my Brain would shut up. Let me be happy. 

Like hell, if this man didn't love me, why would he be marrying me in a month. 

Shut up brain. Just be happy for once in your life.